#4: Rocknrolla

I don't normally post the synopsis to movies here, but:

In London, a real-estate scam puts millions of pounds up for grabs, attracting some of the city's scrappiest tough guys and its more established underworld types, all of whom are looking to get rich quick. While the city's seasoned criminals vie for the cash, an unexpected player -- a drugged-out rock 'n' roller presumed to be dead but very much alive -- has a multi-million-dollar prize fall into his hands.

TLDR; A painting goes through several criminal hands, from someone who could probably be your local government representative, to the underground with criminals, to a drug addicted rockstar who faked his death.

Why did I do this?




Because as often as I have seen this movie, I have never been able to understand what was being said. I've had to put on captions each time. And you need a damn flow chart to follow who has the Macguffin and who knows who and why and who is this random dude?

 Fight me 'cause this is still his best role. 
Not that he's bad anywhere else (besides his accents, sorry darling), but the roles have just
never been as interesting as this. (Except possibly "Dead Man's Shoes" but that's from 2004 OK I DIGRESS).
If you have any suggestions then by all means hit me up bc I'd love to see them.

Only the person the movie named after I mean.

Look, I love this movie and would love a sequel, but I'm not going to pretend as if this movie is competently made besides the acting. The editing is too much.

The thing is...wow, people fighting over land development, like why was this the backdrop for a crime movie? "The Gentlemen" has weed, "King Arthur" had magic, "Man From Uncle" had...um.

My favorite detail is how we never see the painting in question. I like to think it's "Boy With Apple" From "The Grand Budapest Hotel".

This movie is so heavily filtered and sepia'd and contrasted and it's so oddly distracting. It doesn't look gritty, it looks, visibly, very ... attempted stylistically, and the attempt just kind of falls flat.

"It looks like garbage."

There are segments that are action closeups that involve the characters...kind of shaking as the background is blurred behind them. This is the first and only film I have ever seen this in and I hope to never see it again.

There are good elements to some of the editing, some quick cuts.

I do quite like the segment where one character played by Gerard Butler whose name I still do not know is being told off for being bigoted. It could be done better, could be worse.

Honestly this movie is just...it's what you watch when you want to feel like a serious film connoisseur and you're like 18.  I still like (what I can understand) of it, because there are some genuinely funny bits, genuinely ... serious bits, and genuinely hard hitting bits, both literally and figuratively. But the general poor construction of this movie is not something one can really get over in an attempt to watch it.

 It's as if someone wanted to tell a story with a Powerpoint presentation and there were like 5 people to follow.