Chapter 2: Rebel's Got Talent / Once Upon A Table / Blondie Branches Out

I'm putting three together because

A) The next pair introduces characters that we won't be rid of will play a role until the series' death.
B) I'm not even bothering to review one of them very seriously because you can see the conclusion a mile off.

Rebel's Got Talent
(They really like calling back to reality shows)

Raven Queen and Sparrow Hood go head-to-head in a wicked awesome guitar duel at the annual school talent show.

Raven auditions to Grimm, who asks her "What evil act are you going to perform?"

Because she's the token goth, she's musically inclined.  Wouldn't it have been interesting if she wanted to be a writer instead of Holly? That truly takes 'I want to write my own destiny' to a new level. Holly could have created love ballads or whatever, but her One Trait is cool too.

What if she killed a student who didn't have a serious destiny? Would Grimm care?

She starts playing a pretty cool guitar. The song is weak though, and Grimm agrees, though he tries to trot out "YOUR DESTINY" shit and she stops him, pointing out that she's still here after rejecting her destiny.

Grimm says well, anyway, too bad, Sparrow has already signed to play the guitar, who slides onto the stage to be obnoxious, until Raven glows with magic and comes close to losing her temper...which Grimm likes, and lets her play her guitar.





Raven practices around the school to the enthusiasm of her friends, and Sparrow is there each time to jump in and be a jackass.

Let princesses eat spaghetti in peace 2017

The show is happening, Maddie is hosting, which explains the decor, and Cedar has this cute little younger sibling - I mean wooden puppet.

Raven starts playing her solo next and people are impressed. By what, I have no idea, because it's a bland riff, but it fits the theme of the show so ok. But Sparrow jumps on stage to interrupt and outshow her! The crowd...might think it's part of the act? They jump to their feet in enthusiasm.

But Raven has had enough for the day. "I told the Headmaster I didn't want to do anything evil..." and by the power of song and magic, her outfit instantly changes into a pretty cool rocking dress and long braid.

Wouldn't it have been nice for this to get a doll? I know, but that's the world Mattel is living in. It's a filler episode, but I liked Raven's determination to practice, Grimm appearing and more destiny talk, and the whole "Devil Went Down to Georgia" vibe.


Once Upon A Table

Maddie and her friends try to tone down the wonder of her family tea shop before Blondie Lockes arrives to film a review. They soon discover the shop is tea-riffic just the way it is.

"I came here for Wonderland magic and it's boring, just be yourself," Nice and concise. Moving on, because I hate Wonderland. Honestly, I didn't even watch this.


Blondie Branches Out

Blondie Lockes tries to uncover if she's really a Royal when the students are assigned to research their family trees.

Professor Jack B. Nimble (Returns! Briefly!) has another assignment, about the students' family histories. Except this time, it must be rooted in fact.

Blondie is nervous; She's spent so much time trying to be a status-chaser, she doesn't want to discover that she might not actually be a royal.

I don't get the confusion; She's not called a princess or Her Highness or Her Grace. She's deluding herself, because everyone else is smart enough to know that she's not blue-bloods royalty. Blondie is kind of an idiot.

The day the assignment is due, she's pretending to be sick.

This is a nice room.

"My family is only, ugh, distantly royal." Considering we haven't seen anything close to a class war in this world, who cares? You seem well off enough. God, a class war would be so interesting to see in this world. That or a status war.

Cupid points out that in the school-wide dichotomy, 'Royal' means honoring your history and your fairytale, not actually being royalty. Blondie didn't know that? Cupid is the smart one here? Bizzarro world.

Also, they always looked kind of .... odd in side profile like this. 

In class, Cedar literally traces a relative back to a branch of a tree.

An important part is brought up that, surprisingly, most people seem to ignore - there are many families with the last name Charming, but they're not all related. Also, Daring points out that they're "Not related to the families that came over on the Charmflower."

 Why am I not surprised that colonization exists in the world of Ever After? Did they commit genocide too?

Probably.

Blondie's tale is that her mother, after completing her story, was sent to a cul-de-sac, and eventually ran it so well, she was called the 'Queen' of the cul-de-sac...like her mother and grandmother before her. So I guess Blondie is...discount royalty? 'Can I speak to the manager' suburban royalty?

It's an interesting idea, and I really wish we had seen more students show their history. I would have loved for Faybelle to be shown early here and talk about her history. Or Lizzie, they're both girls with very strong love for their heritage and family.