#25: Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole

Remember when Zack Snyder - yes, that Snyder - made a kickass movie about owls. It remains the single best-looking CG animated movie on a 'realistic' scale that has ever been made. The fact that there aren't humans helps immensely.

And this budget was only 100$m? There are movies today that look worse and cost more.

 Funny how this and the only other CGI movie I will say looks different and stylish ("Into The Spider-Verse") are within a 10$m budget of each other.

Unfortunately, it's bogged down by a lot of elements to make this more palatable to a mainstream audience; Because everything about this movie is half-assed except the visuals.

And it didn't even work.

139$m return Worldwide on that 100$m budget. Probably doesn't even cover advertising. 

Hey, Netflix, since you like spending money, get a budget that's even 3/4ths on par with this one, hire Snyder, and let him make a damn CGI "Redwall" series. If you don't want him to retread the ground that the Nirvana series did in 2004 (They covered "Redwall" and "Martin the Warrior", and "Mattimeo"), there's another 19 books you can pick.

Why "Redwall" over "The Chronicles of Mistmantle", you're asking?


You're probably asking "What are either of those?"





Neither of them are horrendously complicated, however, "Redwall" is simpler, without a host of metaphysics, beliefs, religion, and emotional impact. There's a greater display of outright monsters in "Redwall", it would work better for his bombastic and stylized fighting style, and many more physical battles.

It would look fabulous.

(Also; The style of "Spider-Verse" would probably work really well with The "Hermux Tanamoq" series as a movie. Or "Geronimo Stilton", but that's already a TV show. Ok, I can see I've really lost you now.)

Back to "Guardians";


Again, the longer this continued, the more disappointing it was.

Why are there lights to electrocute owls? Because it's a plot device and we need a machine. Why does it electrocute them, what purpose does it serve? Hell if I know.

Why are there silly side characters? Because it's a kid's movie. You could have cut out the 3 sidekicks to Soren.

Why does the end end in triumph despite the fact that 2 out of 3 villains still live? Because it's a kid's movie and we need a happy ending.

Why is the moral half-assed? It's a kid's film! We need that moral! Which was 'believe in dreams' and 'People who believe in you are evil', I guess.

I feel that there was a lot of seriousness that was scraped away to make this more accessible, but it just leaves bullet-sized holes in everything -- and many of them.