#38: Avengers Infinity War

This is what happens when you're swept up in hype. You see movies you had no interest in until you watched an hour of a cam rip and was like "....Hm?"

Despite my enthusiasm for Black Panther, I'm not the world's biggest MCU fan.

I don't like about 80% of the cast.

Before last year, I hadn't seen one of these movies in theaters since the original Guardians in 2014.


A quick recap; Every movie I saw in the Marvel Cinematic Universe before Infinity War.

• Original Iron Man - loved it. Due for a rewatch, really.
• Second I don't remember.
• Third I really enjoy!
• Original Avengers I didn't like at all. Never saw Ultron.
• Winter Soldier - I saw it but I ... forgot I saw it.
• I don't remember Ant Man.
• Guardians of the Galaxy is my second favorite MCU film.
• While the sequel is my least favorite. Way to mess up a good thing with even more trite storytelling.
• Homecoming made my top ten of last year.
• Ragnarok ... let's just say, I was far more tired after watching that one hour and maybe fifty minute movie than I was watching this that clocked in at almost three hours.
• Black Panther is my favorite.

And Infinity War? It's what the fans want. And I acknowledge that I'm not really one of them - but I didn't find this movie totally unapproachable. 

Spoilers Follow 

#37: What We Do In The Shadows

Vampires; They're just like us!

This is the second full length film by New Zealand wonder Taika Waititi, based upon a short from 2005.

I have seen Hunt For the Wilderpeople (loved it) and Thor: Ragnarok (Very, very tiring), and his humor works far better here and in Wilderpeople than in Ragnarok.

Which isn't a bad film, no, I appreciate the themes of colonialism, but Waititi's humor has a tendency to be very drawn out and droll, which makes it feel refreshing in his smaller, more personal movies than in something like an MCU film where jokes are constantly flying at you and it's sensory overload.

Shadows is a documentary about vampires in New Zealand leading up to an Unholy Masquerade;

Or can we call it a fauxumentary? We can just make up words, right.

Four-Month Summer Showdown

Wow, talk about your change of plans.

Yes you can, Laureline. 

I initially just shoved all the summer ones into the final challenge of the year, until I realized a few things - one, more movies are coming out in September than I realized. Like, two more.

Two, there's quite a lot of movies (read: 2) that don't have release dates but are anticipated to be around Oscar season.

It was just going to be a very clumped challenge already, so we have a mini one! From May to August, just, well, four movies.

And the lucky films include;

#36: WALL-E

I'm less impressed with this now than I was when it came out.

 I will give it one point in that despite the main characters clearly alluding to typical gender conventions (Curves are for women, angles are for guys), EVE's design is pretty cool. The other robots are pretty ambiguous but I guess Pixar didn't expect an American audience to attach itself to some that's not vaguely shaped like an organic lifeform.

"A love story between robots," No, it's just a typical story about a lonely guy bothering a woman trying to do her job but with a lot less creepy stalking factor because, you know, for kids.

It's not as "Technology is bad," as one would expect, but it's there.

I just really find nothing charming about this movie except the "voicework" and the little cleaning robot on the Axiom. I'm not angry this won Best Animated Feature over my favorite movie of all time, but.... the story does nothing for me, trite, typical, and empty are how I describe it.

#35: Godzilla (1954)

The OG Big G, plus bonus review of Shin Godzilla (2016) and I suppose notes on Godzilla (2014)

There is a stark difference in how American filmmakers see Godzilla and how Japanese filmmakers saw it.

As opposed to our "Ooh, big lizard, make it stomp and atomic breath." love, it's seen as more of a metaphor for nuclear holocaust in its country of origin.

Americans complained that it took too long to see the titular titan in the 2014 remake, and those people would not enjoy any of the Japanese Godzilla movies, as it is far more about suspense and taking emergency action than theatrics.

Even though the 2014 remake try to bring it back to its roots, it's still mired in more of a 'Giant sleeping mega goliath' instead of  it's original metaphor...but that also had to tie in with Warner Brothers' / Legendary Monsterverse.

You can't have King Kong fight a metaphor in 2020! Can you?

"Godzilla was baptized in the fire of the H-Bomb and survived. Who could kill it now?"

Book 2: The Desert / The Serpent's Pass

Well, this suuuuucks!

#34: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Would have been more ... ironic if this was #77, but either way, it's The One that started it all.

I haven't seen the original Star Wars movie since 2015, and not on television. I remember being impressed by how cheesy but yet not totally outdated it looked. The consistency. Nothing really looks like it shouldn't belong. The wonder of practical effects.

I fell in love the moment I saw Mos Eisley. Like, look at ALL of that!

Though this is (obviously) the edit with some weird shots of CG animals and the absolutely awful jerky-shoulder movement with Han vs. Greedo and a very strange looking Jabba.

I don't remember how C3-PO ended up on Leia's ship right now. Something must allude to that in some of the Disney-Era materials, I imagine. Though the book Leia: Princess of Alderaan matches up neatly to the beginning of this movie.

Also, one of the most iconic scenes in Star Wars now stars dead people 😔 Godspeed, Kenny Baker and Carrie Fisher.

I like how we're immediately thrown into something with maybe a minute's worth of text.

 This shit would not fly today, even Valerian had a two minute sequence of meeting aliens that spelled everything out.

Seeing the Binary Sunset sequence on a TV screen was something beautiful to behold.

The Roundup: Four-Month Film Fave Bonanza Festibration

So, with Rampage, that does it, from January to April, we have watched (nearly) every movie with my faves in them.

It was only ten movies but I tried this in 2016 and didn't get too far. Hey, celebrate the small things.

We're going by release month. So, Annihilation, despite being watched, by me, in March, counts in the February pile.

There were TEN movies in all.

Technically there should have been TWELVE, but I was not going to see Sherlock Gnomes for anything and thought Acrimony was coming out in July.

Also, I was not going to watch a Tyler Perry movie for anything.

Just because I'm black doesn't mean I watch his movies.

Oh God, no.

# 33: Rampage

Our finale, folks! And...

Takes itself too seriously, but somehow it almost works .

                                                              Video game movies are not our friends.

Before now, 2016 was the last time I bothered, with the one-two-gutpunch that was Angry Birds and Warcraft, the former which was slightly amusing and the latter I enlisted the help of a friend to ask her what the fuck any of that meant.

I gracefully bent out of seeing Assassin's Creed, but this review of the film makes me laugh every time.

There are still plenty I haven't seen; Prince of Persia has been a long-awaited hole-in-the-bucket list film for me

I am hoping next year's Sonic The Hedgehog can break us out of the animated funk, even though it's CGI/Live Action hybrid.

Onto Rampage; Giant wolves! Giant...sea serpents! And giant apes!

Hey, fun fact; Both Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt are going to be in Disney's Jungle Cruise.

Monster High Vol. 1

For your reference, here's the webisode Index. Study up!

The first episode is about five monster girls who want to see a boy band.

You don't get to hear the full theme song in the webisodes for awhile.

In a bit of weird canon, this takes place after the first special, New Ghoul At School, which does nothing but bring the main character to the titular school, have her meet her two best ghoulfriends, and establish the 'bad girl' character, who is really not so bad.

But who are these girls? It's best you learn quickly, because there are another, oh, forty five characters to learn about;

Introducing The MONSTER HIGH Retrospective

I'm still doing the Avatar recaps, but as you can see, those are very long and dense. I like recapping, and I need to do something that's quick.

Why did I not do this before Ever After High? Well, because this franchise never needed my help. I can count on one hand how many fanfics I wrote about this one, and I would need about three hands to count the EAH fanfics I wrote, (including one that clocks in at nearly 37k words) because it needed a hell of a lot of help.

So, welcome back to, essentially, my first love in the doll world. This is the Monster High Retrospective.

So, what is (was?) Monster High, or, as your grandmother called them, "The weird goth dolls," (her words, not mine!);

#32: The Problem With Apu

What to do when your most prominent representation in America for nearly twenty years is a stereotype.

I've never been fabulous at reviewing documentaries, and this is one where I can empathize but not 100% relate.

It is brisk and engaging to watch, narrated by Hari Kondabolu, who even draws a parallel to minstrel shows to give a better understanding to those people who find empathy and non-racism to be a foreign concept, no pun intended.

A lot of modern documentaries are made of two parts - one that displays the information, and the other that is some sort of narrative. This one involves Kondabolu trying to contact Hank Azaria, the voice of Apu in The Simpsons. This one works better than Abacus, mainly because this clocks in at a cool 49 minutes instead of an hour and a half of banking jargon.

I won't spoil that thrilling conclusion.

#31: Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day

Poor woman says 'Stop acting like assholes' to the rich.

Between this and Julie and Julia, there's quite a few 00's era movies that have Amy Adams in them that you'd never realize unless you really looked.

I'd include Sunshine Cleaning as well but I didn't see it in full. How did I not when it also stars Emily Blunt? I'm a failure of a fan.

Also, I should have dedicated a month to reviewing movies that would be ten years old this year. I'm sure I can pencil it in for May. Nothing important is in May.

I wondered why this movie went so far under my radar until one of the studio cards opened with "Focus Features" and went "Ah, that explains it."

They obtain very interesting movies but never seem to have the means to advertise or release them properly.

Off the top of my head, the movies I've seen with Amy Adams are;

Star Vs. The Forces of Evil Season 3 Finale

#30: A Quiet Place

A better Cloverfield movie than the one with Cloverfield in the name.

I'm surprised it took us this long this year to see a movie with Emily Blunt this year.

Hey what about Sherlock Gnomes?Quiet.

She's one of those people I like who always does slightly off the wall stuff. Including, last year's My Little Pony The Movie, which did not have nearly as much charm as the TV show, but it did look a hell of a lot nicer.

And she SUNG there! Not here though!

I should watch Gulliver's Travels one day. It's also time to revisit Edge of Tomorrow.

At least Warner Brothers wants to give us ONE sequel to a slightly over performing cult classic.

But for now, we're in...a quiet place.

Book 2: Bitter Work / The Library

It takes time to learn new skills, but not as long to apply them.

Aang is struggling with Earthbending - it's the natural opposite of Airbending, and Toph is his natural opposite in nearly every way.

Grumpy, can't see, has hair.

Totes opposite.

#29: Peter Rabbit (2018)

Cute rabbits trespass on an asshole's property and ruin their surrogate mother's life.

T

This is not a joke.

This movie stars Elizabeth Debicki, Daisy Ridley, Margot Robbie, General Hux, and some other people.

And is...considerably better than I had expected it to be.

We all had our reservations when the trailers came out, I remember reading the comment "Why can't someone just adapt Peter Rabbit the way Beatrix Potter wrote it?"

And... honestly, I'm not super up to date on the Peter Rabbit lore, but none of this felt horribly modernized besides London and that's not a big part of the story.

I don't recall seeing a television, or a phone, or any piece of tech besides a modern car.

Oh, and the rapping birds. That was weird.

Star Vs The Forces Of Evil S3 E 35 & 36

Guess the Moon got Eclipsed after all.

Nothing but respect for MY once Queen of Mewni.